Remember the commercial?

Yes....for those of you who think you are seeing things...that is a box of Calgon soaps!! If that could really work at the end of some days, (and if baths didn't totally sick me out) I would invest in a case or two!!!!

There have been many a night where I have recited those famous words..." Calgon take me away!" How come those commercials aren't still on the air? Everyone can relate to "Calgon days."

I am sitting here...9:20 at night, typing one handed and using the other to keep little hands from tearing out my earring. This "little one" who shall remain nameless thinks it's playtime cause her nap went too late tonight!

Every once in a great while, Emma has really "off" days. I have come to the conclusion that calling them "off" days is a gentle way of describing the total breakdown of any good behavior/patience/manners that has ever been instilled in her little body. YES, I do remember that she is only 4, but if you all choose to continue to read this you must at least feel a little of my pain :) There is not enough time in the night to express all of the little "off" moments, so I will simply highlight the day. (This is better than a diary, although I've never had a diary) :)

Dear diary, :)

0830 hrs. - argument over having hair put in a ponytail or not. Then argument over what color pony tail to have. - mom wins.....hair in ponytail.

0845 hrs. - argument over who is taking her to preschool. not happy over the fact that dad is riding with mom to preschool to drop her off. Then instructs me to be the one to walk her into preschool. Ok, I choose to pick my battles. - Emma wins......dad stays in the car.

0900-1130hrs. - no "off" moments.....Emma is in preschool :)

1200hrs. - lunchtime.......Emma decides to make Lauren laugh by blowing bubbles in her water cup and making a mess. - mom wins.....it takes days to become dehydrated.....no drink till after lunch is eaten. :)

1200-1600hrs. - I get called into work on my day off to get something done for the County Attorney's office ASAP........AKA..."mom gets a break and gets paid for it" :) Anyway, my task was to search a kid's cell at the Youth Center. This "bad kid" is in a lockdown unit with some of the worst at the YC. So, of course I don't have my weapon on and I don't even have my badge showing when I go in there. As soon as I go in this "lock down" area, all the "bad kids" are at their windows peering out at the blonde "white chick" carrying a brown paper sack. I AM NOT KIDDING YOU WHEN I SAY THAT SECONDS LATER THE PROFANITIES BAGAN TO EMINATE FROM THEIR "poor incarcerated mouths" I heard everything that a cop could be called from "5-0" to "pig" to others that cannot be written. Actually, I found this hilarious because I truly didn't think that I looked like a cop. They were even yelling through the vents at me. :) (And people "feel sorry" for these "kids") - cop wins, suspect loses

1630 hrs. - we pull in the driveway at home. Lauren is asleep in her carseat. I've got her in one arm and the diaper bag in the other. Emma sees me headed toward the mailbox to get the mail and she immediately goes nuts cause that's "her job" OK, so she starts walking down the driveway as I hear a car coming up over the hill. I tell her, "be careful, there is a car coming." eventhough she is only halfway down the driveway. I watch her eyes look up the hill to "validate" my warning, then she looks right at me and begins running toward me (toward the street). Luckily, 4 year olds aren't the quickest so I was able to grab her with the "diaper bag hand" and promptly "redirected" her inside the house. If I would not have warned her about the car, she would not have ran toward me to FREAK ME OUT! - nobody wins

1635 hrs. - we are inside, on the way to her bedroom when I decide to discuss AGAIN why we don't run toward the street, even if we are just "clowning" Right or wrong, we had a discussion about what could happen if kids run in the street and are hit by a car. This time, I didn't stop at "you could get hurt and have to go to the hospital" Emma has been talking about death lately....(I have heard this is the age of questions about it) and knows what it means to die. SO, maybe this wasn't the best way to get the point across but I brought out the "if kids get hit by a car, they could die." Instant tears! I am embarrased to say that I didn't feel bad for her because there are few instances in life where the point HAS TO get across and if it takes brutal honesty than that's what it takes with this kid. I of course did tell her that as long as she listens to mom and doesn't "clown around" near the street, she would be safe! BUT, that she is still going to spend some moments in her bedroom. - I would like to say I won this battle, but the outcome is pending on the next trip to the mailbox

1700 hrs. - dinnertime - Emma is not happy with my selection of entrees....leftover Tater tot casserole, eventhough she likes it. She wanted to AGAIN make her own scrambled eggs in the skillet....... So, she picks at her food forever, probably like I did at her age, then announces that she is done and is getting a piece of Halloween candy for dessert. HA! So, I set the timer for 3 minutes and if her food wasn't gone no candy tonight. WOW can that girl shovel in "poisonous casserole" when she needs to. - mom wins

1745 hrs. - Emma is coloring at the kitchen table while I clean up the dishes. I turn around to notice brown marker all over the table. Luckily it came off but the marker did find its way to the trash.

1800 hrs. ANOTHER night filled with Chutes and Ladders. Oh how I wish she was a twin, then her and her little sidekick could play together. (yes Stacy, you heard me right) So, of course we can't play Chutes and Ladders without cheating. For all of you who need a refresher on Chutes and Ladders, you have to climb squares to the top and the first person to square 100 wins. There are ladders to climb and chutes or slides to slide down. So, tonight Emma was on square #26 and the biggest ladder (Super Grover) is on #28. So, she needed to spin a "2" to get there. I watched her spin a "4" then VERY QUICKLY spin again in an attempt to try for a "2" in case I wasn't watching. That little stinker actually got a "2" so she chuckled with delight and moved her "Elmo" up the huge ladder to "78". Sometimes I catch her cheating and let it go, but she had already cheated a couple of times tonight so I decided to address what I had witnessed. I told her that I had seen her spin a "4" and she informed me that she had not spun a "4" but had spun a "line" and that's why she spun again. I tried to make the correction as pleasant as could be and even tried to tease with her but she refused to put her "Elmo" on the "30" instead of the "78". I think this cheating thing comes from her grandma and greatgrandma but I could be wrong. It may seem mean, but that was it for that game for the night. She had way too many chances to "play nice." Thankfully our windows are closed because if not, I think the neighbors may have thought I was beating her for the loud screams that were coming from boxing up the game for the night.
- mom wins, except for my eardrums

I know I am rambling and if you are exhausted from reading this....please don't read on. The more I type, the more therapeutic is seems. :)

1900 hrs. - Emma absolutely cannot get over the fact that we are not playing the game anymore. She has set the gameboard up and has her "Elmo" on the "30" where it was supposed to have been 15 minutes ago. I am holding back my laughter at this point because she is relentless. I inform her again that we will try again tomorrow to "play nice."

1910 hrs. - still can't get over not playing the game, so she sits in her "timeout" chair in the family room. I grab Lauren to play with her while I read a JCPenney ad. Emma has been intructed to not talk for 5 minutes if she wants to get out. So instead she has to start nudging me in the back with her foot in an attempt to get my attention. So, I move forward, out of her reach and play with Lauren. Emma then begans to whine over and over, "nobody likes me anymore" "nobody loves me anymore." It was all I had not to laugh. Wow, sibling rivalry/jealousy at its best!

1920 hrs. -Lauren is playing nicely and smiling at everyone and everything as usual and Emma goes right over to her and takes the Sesame Street telephone out of her hands. Of course our "easy going" baby just smiles at Emma. (toughen up sister, don't let your big sister treat you like that) So I calmly said, "Emma, give Lauren back the phone." and she says, "well, I was playing with it first" yea, in 2003!! What can I say, she has a room full of her own toys and chooses to pull baby toys away from her sister. typical older sibling I'm sure. - Lauren wins with the help of her poor tired mother

2010 hrs. - bedtime.......THANK GOD! Literally, I was thanking God and probably muttering something about Calgon. I won't even go into the difficult bedtime routing tonight. I am starting to bore myself with all the excruciating details of the day. The important thing is that teeth were brushed and pajamas are on!!! - mom wins again

2030 hrs. - one last bottle for the smiling princess :) before I put her down. I think my princess was too full still from dinner cause after she drank 5 oz. she burped and it ALL came right back up on her sleeper. Of course she is still smiling at me. How can anyone get frustrated at that. So I gave her a kiss and upstairs we went to change sleepers. So, I am changing her in her bedroom and Emma yells, "Lauren, be quiet, I am trying to sleep" No response from me!! What I wouldn't do for a bigger house with bedrooms on separate ends of the hallway.

2120 hrs. - That leads us back to the beginning of this blog where miss Lauren thought it was still playtime. It is 2300 hrs now and no, she finished her bottle a long time ago and calmly, without a peep, put herself to sleep in her crib. :)

Dave should be home any minute which reminds me of how much I have to be thankful for eventhough there are days where I wish I could run far far away. :) Just kidding, I would be back after a few hours. I wouldn't change anything about my life and am thankful for my wonderful husband who does his best to convince me that Emma is a typical 4 year old and is not crazy or mentally ill as there are moments I wonder. :) Just kidding, just a lot of attention seeking behaviors. And of course I wouldn't change trade in my girls for a second. It is time for bed as I am exhausted and have promised Emma, long before today, that we would go to the zoo tomorrow.

So, everyone who has actually read this novel, please say a prayer that our day tomorrow goes much better than it did today.

I hope all who have taken the time to read this have atleast had a good chuckle as I have now looking back on the evening.

Good night and don't forget to pray for our attention deprived sibling.

Oh yea, and the Kids for sale picture was at Vala's pumpkin patch. How cute for today's blog. Of course she had no clue why I was laughing while I was taking her picture.

:) P.S. If you took the time to do the tally, you are not only a dork :) but you will see that I won the majority of the battles for this evening and that's what counts I guess.